‘Janet(s)’ – The Good Place season 3 episode 9 review

Have you ever felt like the universe is listening to you? Have you ever said, “I’d give my right arm for some pizza” and then walked right past someone handing out free slices of pizza? Have you ever taken a free slice of pizza from a stranger on the street and thought, “I really hope this isn’t drugged” and then not woken up tied to a chair in an abandoned warehouse? Have you ever sat dejected after a crappy date with a 4-foot sack of racist jokes and cat puke (who claimed to be 6’4” and a dead-ringer for Jason Momoa), thinking “I’m going to die alone” and then the real Jason Momoa walks by and says, “Hey, why the long face? We should get married”? Of course you have.

That said, it doesn’t happen often. Life is made up of moments where we cross everything we can cross, shut our eyes and desperately wish for the desired outcome, only for the total opposite to materialise and poop on us from a height like an incontinent airborne moose. Most of the time, when it feels as if the universe is listening, it’s either as a contrary sadist or that genie from Wishmaster who loves deliberately misinterpreting your wishes in the worst way possible. You give your right arm for that pizza but it arrives unsliced. And it’s got pineapple on it.

Worst still are the times when the universe listens but you’ve experienced too much disappointment to be able to relax and enjoy it. Think of that as getting the free pizza, not waking up in the abandoned warehouse, not losing an arm, but spending the rest of the day convinced you’re about to get violent diarrhoea. It’s also kind of like getting invited to an exclusive early screening of Star Wars Episode IX but not being able to stop thinking about how much you hated The Phantom Menace.

All this is leading to one thing. On our last review of The Good Place, I said I was worried. The series hadn’t dipped too much in quality, it just seemed a little lost. So, what does the universe do? It smiles kindly, says, “Alright, I got you” and plonks ‘Janet(s)’ in you lap. What is ‘Janet(s)’? Excellent question. It’s the best damn episode of The Good Place to date. It’s forking hilarious, imagines the afterlife’s accountant as Darren from Extras and has as many D’Arcy Cardens as you can fit into 23 minutes (exactly 41 minutes of D’Arcy Carden, if you’re wondering). Go watch it and be reassured that the universe is actually on your side after all.