‘Camp Rules’ – Queer Eye season 1 episode 5 review

All I could think the first time I watched ‘Camp Rules’ was how much Bobby Camp looks like Mark Ruffalo. The second time round, the idea had taken root to the point that every time someone said “Bobby”, my brain took a moment to remember that his name wasn’t Mark. At one point Jonathan said he was aiming to turn Mar… Bobby into Chris Pratt meets George Clooney. I mean, that’s essentially Mark Ruffalo, right?

I should have prefaced these reviews by saying that I’ve already watched all of Queer Eye once and am watching each episode for a second time before writing. What’s interesting about doing things this way is that certain episodes stood out in my memory from the first go around (in particular Tom Jackson, AJ and Cody) and others blended into a run I thought of as the second-half slump. I remembered Bobby Camp as the point where the slump began, but on second watch, I’ve discovered I was wrong. This episode might not have the built-in social significance of Cody or the emotional resonance of AJ, but it’s no less moving.

The longer Queer Eye goes on, the more obvious it is that each episode lives and dies by the charisma of its main subject. Bobby isn’t particularly witty, but he’s an earnest, charming, eloquent man who goes above and beyond for his wife and kids. He’s a quintessential God-fearing, all-American, Southern family man, but one who shatters the stereotype in his openness to the five gay men who descend on his home in a literal glitter storm. I kept waiting for the point where Bobby and his incredibly sweet wife and kids would offer to pray for these poor gay souls, but that never came. He acknowledges the church’s failings in how it alienated kids like Bobby Berk and he says the one line that would solve so many problems, if only every “religious” person could take it to heart: “God is love”. All that matters is ridding your heart of hate. Do that and you can believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster for all I care.

Bobby is one of those fun ‘minor makeovers’ in that you can already see how good-looking he is, so you just know he’s going to look fantastic by the end of it all. And he does. I don’t think there’s any hyperbole going on when Tan says he would totally date Bobby. I’m straight and married and I’d consider it. What’s more interesting is Bobby Berk’s side of things. Bobby’s house is a nightmare and you can see BB (who is definitely into red this week) stuck in between being excited at the potential and daunted by the overwhelming task ahead. Needless to say, the result is the tastefully reserved masterpiece we’ve come to expect from BB. Along the way, he gets to have a meaningful chat with Bobby about religion that doesn’t shout “SOCIALLY MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION” in the way that Karamo’s did with Cody. Also, cordless blinds so the baby doesn’t strangle himself: genius BB, genius!

The episode ends on the loveliest of lovely notes, Bobby finally giving his wife a surprise wedding reception to make up for their disastrous original one. The way she looks at him when he’s giving his speech is so damn moving. Part of me is thinking, “God, this is so cringy and sincere” while the other part is trying to pretend I’m not crying.

Jonathan highlight: “Baby Bobbers is strugs2funk. Struggling to function.”

Antoni smell test: Nothing. There had to be something to smell in all that mess but he’s not even tempted. That said, we do get a mention of his favourite type of cuisine: Tex-Mex. And he gets very excited about both chili and cheese. Just picture him smelling that cheese…

Fab fives out of five: Five. An under-appreciated gem.

Epilogue: Bobby and Vera moved house. What?! I take it all back. You unappreciative monsters!